Today we had the incredibly difficult task to say goodbye to our Quarter Horse friend Ziek. Ziek was 24 years old, which is still young by Spring Farm CARES standards. He arrived here seven years ago, with a donkey we renamed Noah, after their owners could no longer care for them.
Ziek and Noah were very bonded because they only had each other. But once they arrived here at the farm, they each took up friendships with their own kind. Noah was overjoyed to be accepted into our donkey herd and became the wise mentor for our young donkey Murfee. While Ziek was thrilled to be in a herd of horses again.
Ziek had several medical issues that he was dealing with over the years. He had bad environmental allergies and Cushings Disease. More recently, Ziek started to show what we initially thought were lameness issues. However, these worsened and obviously showed themselves to be neurological in nature. Sadly, we discovered that Ziek most likely had a tumor that was affecting his spine. This past week, he deteriorated rapidly. And suddenly we woke up today to find that he could barely even walk around in his stall. Every movement became a monumental struggle as the messages just couldn’t get from his brain to his body, but his will was still so strong. Sheer will and determination were keeping him up and eating. But it was a challenge for him just to stand.
There was not a single thing anyone could do to help. Nothing we could offer but to help him leave this body behind. Ziek loved his life here. In fact, he loved it so much that he just didn’t want to leave. And while he knew and understood that he could not go on and he was only moments away from not even being able to stand up, he fought to stand and take in every last sight and sound that he could until his very last breath.
“I’m taking it all in,” he told Dawn. “Savoring every last taste of what you all mean to me. I thought I’d have so much longer, but I don’t. I trust you to help me now. But I need you to know I never would have wanted to go. So a part of me now will stay with you. Right in your heart. I need you to hold me there so that a part my energy will remain here safe with you. This farm is sacred to the heart of the horse. I think that you still don’t truly understand that. But we animals do. Every single day I spent here was a gift. From the minute the sun came up and the rooster began to crow and the donkeys announced the arrival of our human friends to feed us, I would face each day with knowing it was all going to be good. From the sounds of the birds and the breeze through the barn and the sound of the gentle creek flowing through the pastures. And oh how I love my horse friends. It is here that I found people who truly understood me. The first part of my life I couldn’t find that. I was never good enough to be what people wanted me to be. But here …. Here is where I learned that I only had to be me. I could breathe. And I could just be. I could spend lifetimes here with you and it would never be enough. But, and this is so important, as you help me to leave this body, I want you to know how grateful I am for it all. I will leave here filled with gratitude. My heart full. My body spent. And my spirit grateful to know the grace and love from all of you. No, I would never want to leave. But I know I must now go. Hold space for me. You’ll still feel me here. Of that I’m sure. Thank you for all you’ve done and for all you are. Now let’s be still and breathe together. Love. Gratitude. Peace.”
Ziek left us with dignity and grace, surrounded by love and all of his caretakers, as well as his horse companion Brandy. He left knowing he was treasured and that he would be missed as much as he’d miss being here. He left with a flood of our tears. And the very last words he heard were of our Veterinarian Dr. Christine saying, “Good boy Ziek. Good boy!”
And a horse who walked into this farm feeling lost and uncertain of who he was, left here filled with the knowing of who he was, that he was loved and cherished just for being himself, and that he could rest on a job very well done. Indeed, he was a very good boy.
Graze easy in that big pasture with your friends now Ziek. We will always hold you here. Forever in our hearts and history. Until we see you again…..
Every time we lose a horse here, it feels like a monumental event. Today, after losing Lizzie just two days ago, I was out on my walk and walked past the gravesites of so many of our horses, including the freshly covered grave of Lizzie. As I looked up at the sky on this incredible day, a song started streaming through my inner thoughts. These lyrics rang so true…
Today we sadly said good-bye to Lizzie, a dear soul, who came to us rather lost and lonely but who left surrounded by friends and with lots of love around her.
From Piper: “If you ever meet me in person you will notice one very big thing about me. I never let anything get me down. I was born without eyes, yet I see more profoundly than most others. My world is rich with sounds and smells and sensitivities to everything. I can play with toys. I can run to the top of the cat trees with great agility and accuracy. Nothing can stop me. You might think I’m limited because I can’t see. But it has never once limited me at all. But that kind of thinking limits whoever is thinking it. Please don’t put your limitations on me. I’m free without them. And you’d be free without them too!”
From Nell: “I only have one eye. I am grateful to still have vision in that one eye. However, it is likely that I will eventually go blind. I don’t live my life in fear of what I will no longer be able to see. Instead, I try to take stock in watching everything I can with this one eye and pairing it up with sounds and smells so that I can always remember what this is like. Yesterday, I watched leaves rolling through my pasture in the wind. I could smell them. I could hear them. And I realized it was a joy to watch them and not take them for granted. Each moment in our lives is a gift to be grateful for. No matter if it is big or small, nothing is inconsequential to the whole of life. Nothing. Remember that so that you never forget that.”
From Clark: “The thing I really like to do is to make people laugh. Being a goat is a blast. Our bodies are made just right. It gives me great joy to be a goat because it is the way I can be the best me that I can be. I feel I live a life of purpose. I love playing. I love being funny. And I can also be quite serious too. But right now, there is way too much seriousness going on. Maybe the world needs more goats. Or maybe people need to listen to goats more. I’m grateful for every single day I get to be me.”
From Noah: “I am most grateful to share friendships with such a variety of wonderful beings. I have donkey friends and horse friends and human friends. Each of them are so unique. No two of them are alike. I love meeting visitors as well. What I have learned is that when I approach them with kindness, then they open up and share their kindness with me. I love that! Every day is an opportunity to learn something new and to be kind. Let’s see what you can do with your opportunities today!”
From Varunie: “I love life. Life is by itself enough reason to be grateful. But I also love my friends. I prefer doing my own thing most of the time. But I am a part of the bigger world around me by watching and participating in my very own way. From my porch, I see so much of what goes on at the farm. I see more than my human friends really understand. I see and feel the energy of this place. And I ground myself in that. There is peace. There is kindness. There is love. Yet, many of the humans I see just walk right past it and never notice. The funny thing is that they are looking for those very things in their lives. They are looking for peace. Looking for kindness. Looking for love. You humans are not very observant if I may say so. You can be standing right within the very thing you are yearning for and you do not see it. Instead you keep telling yourselves that it is not there. You are missing it. You don’t deserve it. It will never happen. You just need to let it happen! I try screaming that over and over again. Just let yourself be ok! You are ok! I’m grateful to know this truth.”
From Molly: “Don’t be fooled by the fact I no longer have eyes. Do not for a second think I live in darkness. My life is full of light. In fact, I see more than when I had my eyesight. Before I had sight. But now I have vision. I feel more deeply. I smell things more clearly. And I can sense a heavy heart a mile away. If you come stand with me filled with pity, you will not find me to be too forthcoming to share with you. But if you come to me with curiosity of who I am, I will share with you all you want to know. Because I may not have eyes, but I can see you for who you are. Can you?”
From Romeo: “Being a rabbit is in itself enough to be grateful for. To be able to smell things so exquisitely and to have a body that can leap for joy at the smell of a good carrot is simply amazing. To have ears that can hear the tiniest of movements around me and the ability to run fast if I have to brings me great comfort. Being handsome of course also has its benefits. I am grateful for the opportunity life has given me to live my life to the fullest as a rabbit. Life is good. Life is precious.”
From Libby: “This may sound funny coming from a donkey but I am grateful for quiet times. People sometimes move too fast. They are always in a hurry. Even when they come up to feed us in the morning, they are focused on what they have to do next and not what they are doing now. Everyone runs from here to there. Or zooms around in motorized things. I appreciate when someone comes to see me who doesn’t mind just standing still without any idea of what we will do. Let’s just be in the moment. That would be something wouldn’t it? Yep, I’m grateful for the silent shared moments. And I’m always open for more.”
From Misty Mew: “One of my favorite things to do is to get to know people. I like to try to help people understand that they are important. Some people don’t even recognize that I am here. And then there are others who have become my friends. I don’t think humans are very trusting. There was a time that I didn’t trust too well either. Not everyone was kind to me. But then I ended up here where I find kindness every day. I am grateful to know that trust and friendship exist and that I can be the friend that somebody needs. It is a really great feeling. I am grateful to people who like to stop and share with me.”
From Charlie: “I have so many things that I love and am grateful for. Sometimes my life is limited when I cannot go out and eat all the grass that I smell and see outside my paddock. I have problems with my feet that get very painful if I eat grass. While that is frustrating at times, I still am grateful to go outside in the sun and fresh air. I love smelling the air. The wind will tell you about things to come if you listen. I love the smell after it rains and everything is nourished by the water. And I love the sound of my human friends coming to feed us. I can always tell when they are about to walk in and I love to celebrate their arrival. There is so much in a day that seems little but is actually huge at providing joy. I hope you are grateful for the little things in your day as well.”
From Eloise: “As a pig, I am lucky to have the life that I do, and I am acutely aware of that fact. I am grateful for the freedom to be me. I am grateful for the opportunity to live out my life the way I am wanting to. I am grateful to lie in the mud and feel the warm sun on my back. I am grateful for all the food that is brought to me every day. I am grateful for people who love me for being me and who take the time to get to know me. I am also grateful to have been able to have my children here and know they are safe. But most importantly, I am grateful to be loved.”
From Mabel: “Seriously, when you get to be my age, you are just grateful for every breath you take. But aside from that, I think it’s funny that you ask us this question every year. What it indicates to me is that humans forget to take stock of what they are grateful for in their lives. And that explains a lot to me. So many humans come to visit here with so much heaviness in their hearts. Their minds are dulled. Their hearts are aching. They carry the weight of the world on their shoulders. Donkeys are used to carrying heavy loads all the time. But nothing compares to the load of stress that you humans put on yourselves. So…. I suggest you start where I did when you asked me this question. If you are not sure of what you have to be grateful for in your life, then be grateful for each and every breath you take. Because I am grateful that you are breathing!”
From Sylvester: “Life is just amazing! All of it! I’ve seen a lot of things. I’ve been lost. I’ve been found. I’ve been sick. I’ve been healthy. I’ve been stupid. I’ve been smart. And…. I also know that I’ve been lucky. When I was most down and out, someone brought me here to safety. And what I never saw coming was how much I would fall in love with my new world. I am the happiest ever in my life. I never would have dreamed this could happen. My favorite thing in the world to do is just to hang out and be loved. And I get a lot of that around here! Never give up hope. Never. I am grateful for love. And I will never let go of that.”
From Lucy Goose: “I am grateful for being old. If you think that sounds strange, then I’d like to tell you that the alternative to that is pretty grim. I’ve learned a lot in my life. I’ve done a lot of things. And I’d like to think I’m a lot wiser than the little cute gosling that hatched over two decades ago. The world looks sweeter to me. I appreciate things more deeply. And I am grateful for it all. I watch these younger beings around me that think they know a lot. But they have forgotten that learning never stops. And if it does, you are not going to be in such a brilliant place. But this old goose isn’t fooled by youthful exuberance. I once was over confident too. I once thought I was owed a lot. But the truth is that this old goose understands that you are only self-made. And if you don’t pay attention to learning and bettering yourself, there isn’t anyone else who can do it for you. I am a grateful goose.”
From Ginny: “I greatly appreciate the different seasons. Winter can sometimes get boring when we have to stay in the barn for long periods of time. But I know that our humans are looking out for us when they leave us in. It can get very icy here. But winter offers a different kind of quiet that doesn’t come in any of the other seasons. I love the quiet when you can hear the snowflakes hitting the ground. I love the crisp air and the pure white of the land all around us. I also love spring and the smells of new grass and buds and flowers. And the return of the birds. I love that too. And summer has all the grass we can eat. I love standing in a summer rain. I love standing outside under the stars. I deliberately do not have a favorite season so that I can enjoy each one for the specialness each offers. Seasons remind us that all things change and that change doesn’t have to be bad.”
From Buster: “I am grateful for my friends. I’m honestly grateful for lots of things. But to know and feel love is a true blessing. My life did not start out like that. I faced a lot of darkness and hard times. Sometimes I didn’t think I’d even survive. But I did. I am proof that love can heal a lot of things. If you are in a place of hopelessness, please know that it can totally change and life can become beautiful for you. I know this for sure. And I am grateful for it all.”
From Mary: “Oh my goodness, in some ways this is a silly question I think. It is a good question for sure. But it is silly that you have to be reminded to be grateful. Being a sheep can be challenging. The world is not made for sheep. You all move to fast and recklessly. We sheep prefer to take it easy and be orderly. We know how to be a community. We understand that when one is strong, all is strong. So we help raise each other up to be strong. It doesn’t mean we all like each other. We don’t. We have squabbles too. But we don’t spend our lives tearing each other down. We try to boost each other up. If we don’t, then we stand to all lose to a predator. I watch humans all the time. I confess that I don’t always understand your ways. You think that you have no natural predators. Yet you continue to prey upon each other. No sheep would ever betray the trust of the flock. It is most unkind and unfortunate that you humans do not stand united and look out for one another. In watching you, I am even more grateful to be a sheep and to learn and know how to stand strong together. That is what I am grateful for – the strength and love of community.”
From Woodward: “If you’ve ever known pain and hardship then you understand how hard that can be. I am grateful for healing. It was a long road. I was very injured and almost lost a leg. But I healed thanks to the help of several humans. I was afraid of humans my whole life. Didn’t want anything to do with them. They were just too scary. But then when I was otherwise going to die on the side of a road, humans stepped in to save me. I am eternally grateful to all of them. But I am also grateful for the patience of the humans here in my home who didn’t pressure me to be who they wanted me to be. They let me find my way. And I did. I love my human friends. I now know the kindness of a good back scratch. I know how fun it is to share a purr. And while I still have lots to learn, I am grateful for the chance to learn all I can. Love is a wonderful thing. Thank you.”
From Marty: “Don’t think because I live in a cage that I am trapped. You see, my physical mobility may be limited by the restraints of a cage, but I have allowed the world to come to me. I am grateful for the gift of my song that I love to share with those around me. Singing brings great joy and peace to others. And it also brings great purpose to me. I have a life with purpose. Don’t let your ideas confine you to what you think life is like for me. I see many humans who live in cages and don’t even realize how much they have locked themselves in and miss the beauty around them. Sing your song that you came here to sing! And remember me, Marty, who shared with you that piece of wisdom.”